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Suddenly, I have some feelings and I think about the years I've spent on gambling. Have I won or lost? I've transformed from someone who resisted gambling to someone who sees it as entertainment. What happened that led me down this path? Today, I'll share how my gambling journey began.
I remember in my childhood, my dad was an avid gambler. He often worked away from home, spending only one or two days a month with us, and those days were devoted to gambling. Whenever he lost money, his temper flared, and my mom and sister suffered. I felt angry at my dad when I saw my mom and sister crying from his scolding. I wanted to take them away from this home, but I was too young and powerless. So, I had to endure it. I promised myself that when I grew up, I would take my mom away from this situation. I really despised gambling at that time, especially when my dad was on vacation at home, making the atmosphere tense.
Things continued like this until I was 14. I entered junior high school, made new friends, and entered a rebellious phase. I often hung out with friends, sometimes not wanting to go home. I remember one time I fell asleep at a friend's house and didn't inform my mom. She got so worried that she almost called the police. When I got home, I was scolded by my mom, but I didn't feel I was wrong. I even argued with her, finding her annoying. I started getting more out of control, staying away from home for days, drinking, smoking, and occasionally playing mahjong. I completely forgot my initial aversion to gambling and understood why my dad liked it.
It wasn't until I was 16 that my dad unexpectedly left us. Due to his gambling habits, we had no savings, and even his funeral arrangements were difficult. I remember that no relatives were willing to help. It was tough, and with my dad gone, my mom was at a loss. I suggested that I start working to support the family, but my mom refused, insisting that I focus on my studies. These years were challenging, and now that I've entered society, my mom doesn't have to work as hard. The responsibility of supporting the family falls on us. However, since I started learning about gambling, I haven't quit. I'm not a pathological gambler, just occasionally placing bets, gambling on sports, and such. But I can't help feeling that after all these years of gambling, did I win or lose? I feel like I've lost, lost to my initial resistance to gambling. |
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Post time 28-12-2023 12:25:32